Question

假如你是李华，请代表全班同学给老师写一封信。内容要点如下：

1、课堂上您的微笑，给了我们信心（confidence）。

2、若您的课再生动、有趣些，我们会更喜欢您。

3、我们都很优秀，希望得到您更多的表扬。

4、请多给我们一些建议，少一些命令。

5、因为您工作一向很努力，所以，要学会休息，注意保重自己的身体。

注意：

1、以第一人称写；

2、词数：100左右；

3、开头和结尾已为你写好，不计入总词数。

Dear teacher,

As your student, I would like to give you some suggestions on behalf of all my classmates．

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yours,

LiHua

 

Answer 1

Dear teacher,

　　As your student, I 'd like to give you some suggestions on behalf of all my classmates.

　　First, I want to say I love you. And I want to tell you that the smile on your face in English class gives us confidence. Then, we think we will love you more if you make your lessons more lively and more interesting. Also, we think that we are all excellent and hope to be more often praised by you. What's more, We'd like you to give us some reasonable suggestions instead of orders. Finally, as you are always working very hard, it is quite important for you to learn to have a rest and take care of yourself! 

　　Best wishes to you!

Yours,

Li Hua

【解析】

试题分析：本书面表达是一篇提纲类书面表达。第一步：审题。分析题目和提纲可知，这封书信的体裁应该是议论文。论点是“家长用金钱，旅游等承诺鼓励孩子努力学习是不确当的”，陈述要点并说明理由。因文章需要发表自己的意见，故使用第一人称。第二步：构思。文章应该按照“总——分——总”的结构分为三段。考生在写作之前必修认真审题，首先要注意文章的时态。不能根据材料逐字逐句的翻译应该注意句子的衔接，以提高作文的档次。

【亮点说明】文中使用了非常好的短语和句子为文章增色不少，比如on behalf of，what’s more， instead of， have a rest, take care of；还运用句型if引导的宾语从句。并注意了句子的衔接如：first，then，also，finally等等。

考点：提纲类书面表达