Question

3．去年暑假，我和父母坐飞机到厦门旅游．我们在那里玩了三天．
第一天，我们参观了厦门大学和南普陀寺．厦门大学是中国最美丽和浪漫的校园之一；
第二天，我们参观了集美景区，那里非常漂亮；
第三天，我们参观了鼓浪屿．岛上景色宜人，但是，大量的游客使得小岛很拥挤．
注意：词数100左右，短文的开头已经写好，不计入总词数，可适当增加细节．
参考词汇：厦门大学Xiamen University  南普陀寺 Nanputuo Temple
集美景区 Jimei District     鼓浪屿Gulangyu
Last summer holiday，I visited Xiamen with my parents by plane．
My English teacher once told us that Xiamen is a beautiful city that is worth visiting．（高分句型一）We stayed there for three days and we lived in a small fishing village．On the first day，we visited Xiamen University and Nanputuo Temple．Xiamen Universityisconsidered as one of the most beautiful and romantic campuses in China．Indeed，it's fantastic and its buildings are distinctive．On the second day，we enjoyed the scenery of Jimei District，which is pleasant for the eyes．（高分句型二）On the third day，we visited Gulangyu．It's amazing and I like it very much．There are many small specific stores．However，so many tourists make the small island too crowded．
Anyway，it was a pleasant trip．．

Answer 1

分析 本篇书面表达属于提纲类作文，根据提示信息去年暑假，我和父母坐飞机到厦门旅游．我们在那里玩了三天．第一天，我们参观了厦门大学和南普陀寺．厦门大学是中国最美丽和浪漫的校园之一；第二天，我们参观了集美景区，那里非常漂亮；第三天，我们参观了鼓浪屿．岛上景色宜人，但是，大量的游客使得小岛很拥挤，写作时注意以下几点：1、仔细阅读有关提示，弄清试题提供的所有信息，2、提纲是文章的总体框架，要在提纲的范围内进行分析、构思和想象．要依据提示情景或词语，按照一定逻辑关系来写．本文写作时可以按照时间顺序写．3、根据要表达的内容确定句子的时态、语态；就本文而言应该用一般过去时态．4．注意使用高级词汇和句式，以增加文章的亮点．
【亮点说明】本文结构紧凑，层次分明，而且使用了多种表达：by plane乘坐飞机；be worth doing值得做；Indeed确实，的确；However然而；Anyway不管怎么说；
My English teacher once told us that Xiamen is a beautiful city that is worth visiting．（高分句型一）
On the second day，we enjoyed the scenery of Jimei District，which is pleasant for the eyes．（高分句型二

解答 Last summer holiday，I visited Xiamen with my parents by plane．
      My English teacher once told us that Xiamen is a beautiful city that is worth visiting．（高分句型一）We stayed there for three days and we lived in a small fishing village．On the first day，we visited Xiamen University and Nanputuo Temple．Xiamen University is considered as one of the most beautiful and romantic campuses in China．Indeed，it's fantastic and its buildings are distinctive．On the second day，we enjoyed the scenery of Jimei District，which is pleasant for the eyes．（高分句型二）On the third day，we visited Gulangyu．It's amazing and I like it very much．There are many small specific stores．However，so many tourists make the small island too crowded．
      Anyway，it was a pleasant trip．

点评 英语写作是一项主观性较强的测试题．它不仅考查学生的写作基础而且还考查学生在写作过程中综合运用语言的能力．在撰写时要注意主谓语一致，时态呼应，用词贴切等．要提高英语写作水平，需要两方面的训练：一是语言基础方面的训练，要有扎实的造句、翻译等基本功，即用词法、句法等知识造出正确无误的句子；二是写作知识和能力 方面的训练以掌握写作方面的基本方法和技巧．