时 间:2011年. 人物介绍:"低碳哥",用行动宣讲环保概念的年轻人,主张少用能源,减少二氧化碳的排放. 主要做法:1.捡起废纸,用空白一面写字; 2.不开灯看电视,还把电视亮度调到最低(minimum); 3.上班骑自行车,不开车等. 人们的看法:做秀,不现实. 你的看法:我完全支持他的想法和行为,尽管他的行为未能对全球气候变暖造成很大的影响,但他至少可以享受健康的生活. |
分析 本文为提纲类的人物传记作文,要求学生描述人物的事迹以及众人的评价,最后表达自己对该人物的一种看法.写作时一定要注意题干的要求,必须使用5个句子来完成本篇文章的写作,这就对学生的构词和造句提出了更高的要求.审题时注意本文主要使用一般现在时,人称以第三人称为主,表达个人观点时用第一人称.
重要短语:
become a hit one(man)成为轰动一时的人物;suggest doing sth建议做某事,mean doing sth意味着做某事,pick up捡起,拾起,turn down调低,turn off关闭,instead of代替,而不是,as far as sb be concerned就某人个人而言,have an effect on对…有影响.
高分句型:
1.A young man called Low-carbon Brother became a hit one on the Internet in 2011,who suggests living a low carbon life,which means using less energy in our daily life so that we can help reduce carbon dioxide in the air.这是一个复杂的主从复合句,句子含有who和which引导的两个非限制性定语从句,其中主句的主语A young man后面有一个过去分词短语called Low-carbon Brother作后置定语;在which引导的定语从句中又有一个so that引导的目的状语从句.
2.Some people think that what he is doing is just a show and impractical.本句中that引导的为一个宾语从句,在宾语从句中又含有一个what引导的主语从句.
3.But as far as I am concerned,I strongly support his idea and his behavior because although what he is doing has no huge effect on global warming,he at least can enjoy a healthy life这是一个由because引导的原因状语从句,在从句中又含有although引导的让步状语从句,而在让步状语从句中what he is doing属于what引导的主语从句.
解答 A young man called Low-carbon Brother became a hit one on the Internet in 2011,who suggests living a low carbon life,which means using less energy in our daily life so that we can help reduce carbon dioxide in the air.(高分句型)(人物介绍和走红时间)For example,he always picks up some waste paper on the street and uses the blank side to write something and while he is watching TV,he always turns down the brightness to the minimum and turns off the light.Besides,he goes to work by bike instead of driving.Some people think that what he is doing is just a show and impractical.(高分句型)(人物做法和大家的看法)But as far as I am concerned,I strongly support his idea and his behavior because although what he is doing has no huge effect on global warming,he at least can enjoy a healthy life.(高分句型)(个人观点)
点评 本文属于提纲类写作,要求对人物的事迹进行介绍及众人的评价并且表达自己的观点,文章写作语言丰富,句式复杂,多重复合句的使用极大地增添了文章的色彩,在发表个人观点的时候,用语得体,提升了整个文章的档次和文采,也能增加得高分的可能性.
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