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　　There is a fine line between being a concerned parent and one that doesn't know when to let go．

　　As my daughter, Nicole, prepares to leave home for college, I'm 　　1　　 how hard it is to stay on the right side of this line．　　2　　 I tightly hold the string(绳)connecting us, Nicole, 　　3　　 to taste her independence, 　　4　　 hard at it, trying to get out of my control．We act as if we were dancing kind of tango(探戈舞)．So we reached a(n)　　5　　．She accepted that as her mother, I had a right to express my idea and 　　6　　 suggestions．I accepted that I had to trust her 　　7　　 and respect her choices．I bit my lip a few times and Nicole shot me a few glares, 　　8　　 our agreement held．

　　Thank God! She was finally accepted by a great university．When the time came for registration(注册), we went to an introductory meeting together, but then parents and students were 　　9　　．“You may be paying the tuition(学费)．” a university 　　10　　 told the parents, “but choosing classes really is the students' 　　11　　．”

Obviously, I wasn't the only parent having a hard time 　　12　　．The night before, I had carefully read the course catalog(目录)and 　　13　　 classes I thought looked good．As Nicole went 　　14　　 to meet her adviser, we agreed to meet for lunch before registration．“　　15　　 those courses I marked．” I called to her．

　　We met three hours later in the 　　16　　 hall．Nicole was excited and said to me, “Mum, I have my 　　17　　 schedule figured out．It's great．Look at what I'm taking．” I examined the 　　18　　．Nicole had not taken a single one of the classes I had 　　19　　．Every class she had chosen exactly suited her interests．Though somewhat disappointed, I felt 　　20　　 that my daughter had grown into an able girl．

阅读理解

　　Bringing up children is hard work, and you are often to blame for any bad behavior of your children．If so, Judith Rich Hams has good news for you．Parents, she argues, have no important long-term effects on the development of the personality of their children．Far more important are their playground friends and neighborhood companions．Ms Harris takes to bits the assumption which has dominated(支配)developmental psychology for almost half a century．

　　Ms Harris's attack on the developmentalists “nurture” argument looks likely to reinforce(加强)doubts that the profession was already having．If parents matter, why is it that two adopted children, reared in the same home, are no more similar in personality than two adopted children reared in separate homes?Or that a pair of identical twins, reared in the same home, are no more alike than a pair of identical twins reared in different homes?

　　Difficult as it is to track the precise effects of parental upbringing, it may be harder to measure the exact influence of the peer(同龄人)group in childhood and adolescence．Ms Harris points to how children from immigrant homes soon learn not to speak at school in the way their parents speak．But acquiring a language is surely a skill, rather than a characteristic of the sort developmental psychologists hunt for．Certainly it is different from growing up tensely or relaxedly, or from learning to be honest or hard-working or generous．Easy though it may be to prove that parents have little impact on those qualities, it will be hard to prove that peers have vastly more．

　　Moreover, mum and dad surely cannot be ditched completely．Young adults may, as Ms Harris argues, be keen to appear like their contemporaries．But even in those early years, parents have the power to open doors: they may initially choose the peers with whom their young associate, and pick that influential neighborhood．Moreover, most people suspect that they come to resemble their parents more in middle age, and people's child-rearing habits may be formed partly by what their parents did．So the balance of influences is probably complicated, as most parents already suspected without being able to demonstrate it scientifically．Even if it turns out that the genes they pass on and the friends their children play with matter as much as affection, discipline and good example, parents are not completely off the hook．