How to be a good listener

Everyone loves a good listener. But there are more reasons to develop the skill of listening than to win hearts or popularity contests.

Listening heals hurts and builds bridges. It gives us the ability to understand and empathize, to view the world from our own point. It can bring us wisdom over and above mere intelligence. But most importantly, it allows us to give the people around us the gifts they crave (渴望) most—a sense of worth.

As it turns out, there’s more to good listening than just keeping quiet and allowing someone to speak. Effective listening is actually a combination of two key communication skills: listening and verifying (确认).

Even when we’ve managed to hear a person’s entire message, we often interpret it wrong—according to our own understanding, experience, or prejudice.

As an effective listener, your goal is to hear and absorb what another has to say…in exactly the way they mean it to be understood. Only then can you respond properly.

This is much easier read than done, so here are a few helpful tips:

1. Give the speaker your full attention.

Stop talking and remove all distractions. Turn off the TV, your phone, or computer. Watch your body language. The way you look at the speaker, or the way you stand or sit, makes a huge difference. The right listening body language communicates that we are listening openly and attentively, and puts the other person at ease.

2. Be patient.

Not everyone is a gifted speaker. Some people take longer to find the right word to make a point. Others are too worried to get their message across properly. If necessary, ask the speaker to explain further. It will help him / her speak more exactly and it will help you hear and understand better.

3. Keep your emotions in check.

If what someone is saying creates an emotional response in you, make an extra effort to listen carefully. When we’re angry, frightened or upset, we often miss key parts of what is being said.

4. Hold your fire.

Don’t jump to conclusions immediately. A good listener doesn’t react until comprehension is complete. If you respond in a way that makes the other person defensive, even if you “win” the argument, you may lose something far more valuable.

5. Even if you think you understand. VERIFY.

Never assume you got the message right. Pause, think about what was said, and then ask “Is this what you meant?” or “Am I understanding this right?”

6. Empathize.

Take a moment to stand in the other person’s shoes, to look at the situation from his / her point of view…especially when you’re being told something personal or painful, or something you strongly disagree with. The more shoes you are able to successfully stand in within your life time, the less puzzled you’ll find your life and relationships to be.

单词拼写（共15小题, 每小题1分，满分15分）

1.There are strong _____________(论据)against these measures.

2.I tried to fix the __________(设备)but I failed.

3.I’m sure that the word “friend” must ______(存在) in every language and in some ways it is a very easy word to understand.

4.He did the work under his teacher's ____________. (指导)

5.Take _________ (积极的)action and help make your neighborhood a better place to live in!

6.It may rain, but a_________ I shall finish the work today.

7. ---What’s our homework for today, Peter?   ---Sorry, I wasn’t c__________

8.You've been working all morning---you d __________a rest.

9.The fact that the 1 yuan fee goes to charity(慈善) may also encourage them to d_______ to good causes.

10.Once we are college students, we should learn to be i_______ of our parents' help.

11.He told me that the firm could not a________ to pay such large salaries.

12.On the way, a young man waved to me. I stopped and he asked me for a l_______.

13.As usual, the police will have a difficult time. They will be trying to keep order. It is always the same on these o__________.

14.He’ll be away for two months. We are p______ of him. He will take part in an important race across the Atlantic.

15.The instrument was bought by my grandfather many years ago. R______ it was damaged by a visitor.

你班最近就“中学生课余时间上网的利弊”召开了一次主题班会，同学们各抒己见，畅所欲言，作为班长，请你根据下列信息，作总结性发言。

注意：1. 发言的开头已给出，不计入总词数。  2. 词数：150 左右。

Attention, please! I’m going to give you a summary of today’s discussion about whether we should go online in our spare time.

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---- Could you be so kind as to close the window?

----- _______.

A．With pleasure.     B．Go ahead          C．Yes, please.        D．That’s OK.

We must accept the possibility ________ one, although working hard, may fail to reach his goal.

A．whether          B．what             C．that              D．how

He was in hospital for six months. He felt as if he was ______ from the outside world.

A．cut out           B．cut off            C．cut up            D．cut through

I wish to thank your student Tom, without _______ rescue couldn’t be offered to my drowning boy so soon.

A．whose            B．which            C．whom            D．who

Either you or the headmaster_______ the prizes to these gifted students at the meeting.

A. is handing out          B. are to hand out      C are handing out         D. is to hand out

Mother said she was by no means annoyed; ________, she was happy to be able to make her guests feel at home.

A．all in all           B．for one thing       C．on the contrary     D．by the way

Please do me a favor-----_________ a seat for me in case the hall is too crowded.

A．to save           B．saving            C．save             D．saved